Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
