when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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