it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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