Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
