im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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