ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
only you would photoshop your dick
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
He keeps bees of course he's weird
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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