That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You're a waste of cheezeits
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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