Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
