haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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