morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Randomize
