You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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