This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
