I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
We are all done wearing pants today
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
