My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I think your dad took our porno
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Randomize
