Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
