i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I cut my penus on the lid.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Randomize
