so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
