Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Watching her eat just hurts me
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
