I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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