I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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