I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
