oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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