hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Randomize