everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Randomize
