Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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