yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
