I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
