i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Randomize
