Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I don't deserve a penis
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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