VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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