what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize
