Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
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