it was like his penis was on wheels.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
You pole danced in your parka.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
