Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
