That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
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