i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
