I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
