The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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