Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
