OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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