It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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