party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
