I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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