Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
