Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize