Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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