Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
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