i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize