If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Just invented taco cereal.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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