Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Shame - the story of my life.
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