I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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