In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I will die if light touches me.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
