butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
