K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Randomize