So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
