there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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