So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
