haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
